


i see myself in you, little yellow

by Tobiko



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, predatory lesbian fears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:35:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11303961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobiko/pseuds/Tobiko
Summary: When Rita attacks Trini she goes for her worst fears, her weaknesses, and Trini is scared more than anything that Rita is right about her.





	1. Chapter 1

_Where the dead ships live._ Trini’s mind was a jumble of fear and pain, but she knew where Rita meant. She’d gotten the message, and she hoped that meant Rita would leave now.

Trini ached, the scratches on her neck throbbing painfully, when she heard Rita muttering to herself again. She’d known the bitch was crazy, but talking to herself really drove the point home.

Trini got on one knee, ready to jump away, when suddenly Rita surged forward and grabbed her again, grinning ear to ear in that maniacal way. “I really do wish I could play with you more. Maybe just a taste.”

Trini’s eyes widened in terror and she renewed her efforts to fight, to get away, somehow. Rita was so much stronger.

Rita’s clawed hand found its way up Trini’s shirt and a strangled sob ripped from Trini’s throat. _No, please_. But she didn’t say it. She couldn’t, because- because-

_I see myself in you._

Trini’s whole mind was screaming, but she could barely do more than whimper. This was happening to her, and it was happening to her because Rita thought they were the same, thought they were the outsiders, and wasn’t she right?

Rita’s hand up her shirt, Trini’s gaze flitting around the locker room while the other girls changed, trying not to stare, trying to be good. Predators, the both of them.

Tears streaked down Trini’s face as Rita pulled her shirt so that her shoulder was exposed and she bit down.

Rita’s golden dagger nails dragged across the top of Trini’s left breast and blood trickled in small streams down her front. Trini tried to push Rita off, her attempts more and more feeble, and Rita’s nails dug into her side and hooked there.

“Squirmy, little yellow, aren’t you? I like that,” Rita cackled. Her hand started towards Trini’s pajama bottoms and fresh terror swept through Trini.

“Don’t,” she managed to just squeak, her eyes closed and heart beating fast as a caught rabbit’s.

“Hmm?” Rita’s pointer finger jabbed into the soft flesh below her navel, the hook of her nail dragging lower still. “What was that?”

“I… don’t want…” Trini stammered out, voice high and so soft she could barely hear it in her own ears. She opened her eyes just a little, looking at Rita, searching for any sign of humanity in her.

Rita’s smile widened, her gold tooth flashing. “Don’t want this? No, no, no, I can see it in you, your heart of hearts. Just like I can feel your distance from your team, your delicious fear, I, too, can see desire there. What you want, what you can’t bring yourself to _take_.” Rita’s lips pressed just to the side of Trini’s mouth, and when she pulled away she whispered, “But I can give it to you. I can set you free.” 

Trini’s small frame wracked with the sob that tore through her then and Rita laughed as she held Trini down by her neck and pulled down Trini’s pj bottoms, scratching against her thigh as she tried to push Trini’s legs apart, and Trini nearly broke her wrist with her efforts to get Rita off of her, but she was failing, she was going to lose, and-

Rita stopped, tilting her head, considering. 

“Perhaps this is rushed,” she mused, pulling back, and Trini pulled up her pajama bottoms and gasped air into her lungs. “Maybe after we get the crystal we can have more fun. Much to do, much to do.”

And with no further fanfare, Rita was gone out of Trini’s window, leaving Trini to hyperventilate on the floor of her room.

When she could find her feet she rushed to her bathroom and vomited. Blood trickled down her thigh where Rita’s nails had cut her and was already pooled and drying in her belly button from the cuts on her chest.

She showered and there was stinging from her wounds, but she needed more than anything to get the smell of salt water and death out from under her skin.

Trini called the rangers, and when she met them she showed them the scratches on her neck, glad they were on the opposite side from the bite mark. The cuts under her clothes stretched and burned as she spoke, as if trying to get her attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Rita Repulsa in the deleted version of the scene in Trini's room read as very "predatory lesbian" to me, and then today I was feeling my own fears about being a predatory lesbian, that I'm a total monster for liking girls and wanting girls and this happened.
> 
> This is probably not gonna be updated as frequently as I'd like because it kind of hits close to home so... yeah.


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh shit,” Trini swore as soon as she saw the drip drip drip on the homeless man’s face, looking up with abject terror. For an instant Rita was grinning down at them, down at her, and Trini felt briefly like she needed to vomit again, but then Rita was dropping down, the force of her impact sending all of them flying.

The fight was short, the outcome inevitable. They were all trussed up like caught fish, and when Rita's eyes landed on Trini with that look of malicious glee, Trini felt tears grow in her throat. 

“Yellow has led you to your deaths.”

_I see myself in you._

Rita wandered away from Trini, all the way to the opposite end where Billy was fighting to get free. A small, sick part of Trini was glad to have her far away, but a big part screamed, _No, you wanted me, please leave them alone. I would do anything. Sacrifice anything._

But she didn't scream that out, and Billy fell into the ocean.

Trini’s entire body trembled as she asked, “He’s gonna be okay, right?” This was all her fault. She hadn't been able to sacrifice herself, and Billy had in her stead.

Even when Billy came back to life, the guilt and disgust with herself gnawed.

.

They morphed and Trini had no idea how.

They won and Trini was amazed.

Trini got to slap Rita into the stratosphere, and she felt no small amount of triumph.

.

But Trini never told them what had almost happened. She had nightmares every time she closed her eyes, and her friends thought they knew what they were.

They were only half right.

Because some dreams Trini gave in, and sometimes she woke up panting and wet. Like somehow instead of being an assault, it had been wanted. Laced with the fear, there was a reaction in her, a yearning, and Trini hated herself for the confused tangle her feelings had become.

Trini destroyed her nightstand 4 times before it broke for good.

Rita had seen herself in Trini, and maybe she was right. Maybe Trini was exactly what Rita wanted her to be.

Trini started to keep her head down more, staring at the floor rather than at the girls. The only girl she felt safe to look at anymore was Kimberly, her teammate and friend. Kim looked at Trini like she thought the world of her, and for a few moments, Trini could bask in the attention of a girl.

Kim was strong and brave and clever, she was beautiful and selfless, and Trini couldn't believe she'd gotten so lucky to have a teammate like her. Trini found herself smiling more, talking more, just being more at ease around the others, but especially around Kimberly.

It was all ruined the night her usual nightmare started the same, Rita on top of her, pinning her, making her whimper and shriek for no one to hear. Rita’s head dipped to bite at Trini's breast, and when she raised it again it wasn't Rita, but Kimberly, her normally beautiful brown eyes glowing green, her smile twisted into something ruthless and cruel.

Trini woke weeping, her hand down her pajama shorts. Trini nearly broke the window as she escaped into the night, Rita and Kimberly following her in the shadows.

.

Trini couldn't look Kimberly in the eye the next day. She felt disgusting, monstrous even, and she wanted nothing more than to have never found her power coin, because she'd rather be alone and unseen than the person Rita knew her to be.

Kimberly’s confused and wounded eyes followed her all day. They spent so much time together that it was obvious when Trini was avoiding her.

During training later that day, Trini sparred with everyone but Kim, avoiding her at every switch of partners. Whenever she needed an excuse she would scramble over to Zack and ask him to show her a new move, the requests becoming more vague as she started with “the running back handspring kick” and devolving into “that one you did against the putty that looked kind of like Frankenstein”. Zack wasn't dumb, he picked up on what she was doing almost immediately, but any attempts to broach the subject were swiftly shut down.

Trini rode home on the top of a bus that night instead of getting a ride from any of her teammates.

.

By the third day of avoidance, Kim had to say something.

“Trini, I know what an ice out is,” Kim started, and Trini flinched and thought _Oh shit, Amanda and the cheerleaders_. Kim continued, “I’m just wondering what I did wrong?”

“Nothing,” Trini said quickly, not wanting Kim's own fragile self-image to be damaged by Trini being messed up. “It's not you.”

Kim’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “Really? ‘It's not you, it's me?’ That's what you're going with?”

Trini shrugged, her eyes on her shoes.

“I just… I miss you, Trin.”

“You shouldn't. You wouldn't if-“ Trini trailed off, biting her lip. 

“If?”

“Just- never mind. It doesn't matter.”

“It does if it means I lose you!” Kim's voice hitched in desperation, and Trini's eyes shot up to Kim's face in her alarm. Kim's cheeks were blotchy pink with upset, her lips pulled to the side to try to keep them from quivering. When her eyes met Trini's eyes they shined.

Trini's instinct was to run and it took every ounce of willpower not to flee like a coward. “Don’t- I'm just not-“ _Not good, not safe, a wolf in sheep’s clothing._

 _I see myself in you._  

“Trini-“ Kim put her hand on Trini's shoulder where, unknown to Kim, Rita had bit her and left a bruise that hadn't faded completely, that discolored her skin even now.

Trini could swear Kim's eyes flashed green. 

“Don't TOUCH me!” Trini shrieked as she flew backward with all her ranger strength, cracking the hallway linoleum in her desperation.

Sobs tore at her throats at the look on Kim's face, the fear in her lungs, and this time she did run, down the hallway, out of the school, trying to outrun Rita right on her heels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry yo


End file.
